So I finally hit that point ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! and decided it was time to tackle sleep training with my little cherub. We’re on Day 3 now! I’m trying what I is called the Ferber method (a.k.a. controlled crying and checking in while baby sounds like they’re auditioning for an opera).
Why am I doing this? Because honestly, I realised I was doing him and the whole family a disservice by not helping him learn how to self-settle. I saw this quote while deep in a 2am Google rabbit hole last week:
“You wouldn’t stop him learning to ride a bike just because he got frustrated, so why stop him learning to fall asleep when he’s frustrated?” and “You wouldn’t like it if you had to have someone come perform a ritual to get you back to sleep several times a night”
…and it hit me. Hard. I’m holding my baby back from an important skill!
Self-settling is one of those baby life skills they need to know that sets them up long term. It means better sleep for them (and us), more predictability, and eventually, less pacing the hallway or the baby using us as a pacifier all night until it feels like our nipples have got carpet burn.
So we came up with a plan: I took Travis next door to my mum’s house (bless her), where she kindly let us crash for a few nights while he adjusted to his new routine. She graciously endured the screaming from the other room, politely pretending to sleep. Honestly, she’s far too good to me, but I am very grateful because this way, the rest of the household could actually get some sleep while we powered through the tough part.
Here’s What My Nights Have Looked Like So Far:
Night #1
Bedtime at 7pm. Took a full hour to settle (I was about 10 minutes away from stuffing tissues in my ears and rocking in the corner).
Woke at 11pm – 40 mins to settle.
Woke at 1:10am – 30 mins to settle.
Then slept till 5:30am – the longest stretch of his life!
Did he go back to sleep? Nope. Of course not. But still – a win!
That’s when I realised… we need a day routine. Yes, I’m a mum of 8, and yes, I should know this by now, but my kids have always just kind of done their own thing. Except for my now 3-year-old who cried for the entire first year of her life and had failure to thrive. Compared to that, this baby is a walk in the park. So hats off to the parents in the thick of colic or FTT babies—you’re superheroes.
Anyway, back on track (my brain is actual mush). I worked out a day routine that fit around the chaos of the rest of the house:
Day #1 Plan
Nap: 9–11am
Nap: 2–4pm
Dinner: 5:30
Bath: 6
Bed: 6:30
Reality: LOL. He wanted to sleep WAY longer than planned and was in such a deep sleep that it actually took a long time to wake him. But he actually went to sleep much easier that night! For the first part only…….
Night #2
7pm bedtime – 20 minutes to settle
Woke at 9 – 1 hour to settle
Woke at 11 – 30 mins to settle
Woke at 1 – fed, 30 mins to settle
Woke at 4 – I blacked out
Woke at 5 – I fell asleep with him on me. He woke up smiling. I woke up with a numb arm and deep regret.
At this point, I was so close to just giving in, throwing all plans in the bin, and bringing him back into bed with us forever. But every expert and half the internet said, “Be consistent!” So here I am. Not even sure what my name is anymore. Up is down. Down is sideways. I’m held together by sheer caffeine and hope.
Day #2
9am nap – woke at 9:30, back to sleep at 9:45, slept till 11.
2:15pm – no nap. I fed him, he passed out on me, and I just let him because… survival.
Night #3
The evening was a mess. No bath. Suddenly it’s 8:30pm.
Fed him and put him down just before 9 – he settled in 5 minutes. FIVE.
Texted Simon at 10: “He’s awake again 🙄”
Slept again by 10:30
Woke at 1 – fed
Then slept till 7:30am.
WHAT?! Biggest stretch yet!
And now I’m sitting here, half-dead, after 7 months of sleep deprivation, writing this while he naps (reluctantly, of course). But I will not give up! I’ll keep going, because I know this will pay off. Eventually. Maybe. Please?
Cross your fingers. Cross your toes. Cross your eyes if you have to.
Pray for me.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
The Great Eight 
Leave a reply to Melanie Marshall Cancel reply