I’ve got about a hundred ideas swirling around in my head, but the second I sit down with my Chromebook, all motivation disappears. What is this, some kind of sick joke!? 😫 So instead, I’m writing about the very thing I’ve lost: motivation.
How do you even get it back? Honestly, it’s been a hot minute since I’ve felt excited about anything. I used to light up over other people’s birthdays, going all out with surprises, planning every detail just to see that big smile on their face. That used to make me so happy. I used to look forward to concerts, to church, even to dressing up and putting on makeup.
Nowadays? I can barely brush my hair. Anything beyond jeans and my favorite hoodie? Forget it.
Over the past month, I opened up to my amazing partner about needing some time to myself. (Something that feels almost impossible with eight kids). Together, we came up with a plan: once the kids are in bed, he heads off to bed too, watching whatever shows he enjoys that he doesn’t normally get to watch, and I stay up. That late-night window has become mine. Sometimes I crochet. Sometimes I shamelessly binge watch Desperate Housewives. Sometimes I just play a game, or even sit in silence, holding on to the quiet like it’s an old childhood teddy bear.
At first, it didn’t seem to help. I was still running on four hours of sleep a night, still buried under my to-do list, still drowning in the constant demands of life. But then something shifted. I felt a flicker of a feeling I hadn’t known in ages, anticipation. I actually found myself looking forward to those couple of hours alone.
Soon, it wasn’t just the show I craved. My crochet hook, once abandoned, called me back. I tried a new pattern and felt genuine happiness finishing a pair of tiny booties and a baby beanie for a beautiful woman who had just welcomed her third daughter. I have even started writing my new pattern (to be revealed later)!
And just like that, I began doing things for others again. My spark is still small, but it’s there. I’m holding on tight this time, and I’m never letting it go.
My point is this: when everything feels hopeless, hold on to that tiny glimmer of hope, even if it starts with five minutes of peace and a terribly addictive trashy show. When you can’t remember the point of anything, try to remember what used to make you happy. Try really, really hard to find it, trust me, it’s still in there somewhere. My light has been gone for years. I’d completely lost myself, but thanks to my amazing partner, my mum, and some incredibly patient friends who listened while I switched personalities between Eeyore to Russel Crowe, I made it through some very dark times. Something in my head has shifted and I can feel a tiny flicker of hope, and after so long, that feels like everything.
Some days the depression hits you so hard it paralyzes you. All the stuff that needs to be done gets put on the back burner. You can hear it yelling from a distance, making you feel that awful guilt. But the heaviness takes over and you just sit there, blank, but full of racing thoughts. Once in this place, it’s so hard to climb out of it, you think of all the things you have been told by a therapist and brush them off because they are too hard, time to just ride out the wave of depression again..
Julia Grace, the most amazing woman I’ve had the pleasure of meeting, says that you should not think of depression as a race that you will win, that eventually you’ll cure it and be “normal”. Depression is like a roller coaster, constantly riding the ups and downs and loop-de-loops. You just have to arm yourself with the tools to make the ride a little less extreme.
Here are a few of the tools I’ve been shown which I find helpful:
🌟Imagine those repetitive thoughts as a box floating down the river. Acknowledge them, accept them, and put them on the river to float away. This really helps release the thoughts that just won’t leave you alone.
🎉Celebrate small milestones. This could be that you got dressed today, it could be that you took a shower, returned a message, or even just simply got out of bed. Every small step is a win.
🐾Bare feet. Do not underestimate the power of bare feet. It connects you to the earth and grounds you. It makes you feel centred and calm (unless you’re walking on lego, that’s not calming)
🧠Rephrasing thoughts in your head can make a big difference. Instead of “Why is this always like this?” try, “It is like this now, but it is only temporary.” Instead of “I’m useless,” try, “My value isn’t defined by how productive I am.” Instead of “I can’t do anything right,” try, “I can do one small thing today, and that’s enough.” Positive self-talk can make a world of difference.
🥦Have healthy snacks on hand, remember to eat them by creating a routine, or even an alarm. I know on my darkest days I don’t eat properly, I’ll completely forget for 12 hours or I’ll binge eat. And when I feel like eating it’s usually unhealthy. Our diet can play a huge part in mental health! Ever noticed how your mood shifts after you’ve eaten a packet of biscuits (speaking from experience) compared to having chicken and rice?
💤Sleep! Sleeping is so important, to help reset our brains, process information and helps to regulate emotions. It also balances healthy hormones like cortisol. Lack of sleep increases cortisol, which increases anxiety and stress levels. Not enough sleep will also throw off your decision making abilities, concentration and focus.
🧑🤝🧑Get yourself a buddy you can check in with, or that knows you well enough to know when you need them. Depression can make us feel really alone and isolated. It’s easy to forget that we have anyone when we are in that black hole. Someone close to you will see when you’re starting to slide. Even if you think you’re amazing at hiding it. Tell them (when you are not in the thick of it) what you need in those moments. Some people just need to go to bed and cry while their buddy brings them tea and does the dishes with no talking required. Some people need to watch trashy movies and talk for hours. Whatever it is, tell your buddy.
😰Know your triggers! Try to avoid getting in situations that you will get triggered. If your depression is seasonal, prepare ahead of time, go the extra mile to stay out of it. Identify situations, people, or environments that worsen your depression and plan ways to navigate them. Prevention helps reduce intensity.
🎶Creativity. Music, art, baking, gardening, reading, writing. Whatever it is, do it! Even a few minutes can help release tension and boost mood.
✔Have a daily checklist. Do it each day. some days you may only do one item, that’s okay. The point isn’t perfection; it’s showing up for yourself.
The most important thing is, know you are not alone! This is temporary. Some days will feel impossible, and that’s okay. I’ve been there, and I know how disabling it can feel. What helps is showing up for yourself in small ways, leaning on your support network, and remembering that feelings aren’t facts. You’re doing better than you think, even when it doesn’t feel like it. ❤🩹
Have you ever tried homeschooling like a “normal” school day and wondered why your brain (and your kid’s) just screams, “Nope, not today!”? That’s us. My dyslexic teen doesn’t do school and school does not do her.
So today’s lesson was cooking. Doesn’t sound like much, right? But you’d be surprised how much learning you can do around cooking. She had to think of five cooking words and make creative sentences with them. Her favourite? Knife: “I stabbed somebody’s hand with a knife.” (Why are teenagers like this? 😂)
Then we did a verb finding game, where we thought of the verbs in what we were doing, and a game called guess the verb, where we had to act out what we were doing and the other person had to guess the verb. Which ended with my daughter showing me the latest tiktok trend and a lot of belly laughs. All while cooking fried rice, where we chucked in some measurements and conversions.
Then the rest of the day? We watched a feminism documentary, for some social studies and made rice pudding with leftover rice. YUM. To finish it off she finished some maths on IXL that she’s been stuck on for weeks but finally cracked. 🎉
Was it traditional school? Nope. Was it full of learning, creativity, and actual laughter? Yep. Some days are tough, but today? Today was a win. Dyslexic kids might not fit the school mold, but wow, those brains are bursting with creativity. Dyslexic kids are some of the most brilliant, wonderfully weird minds out there. Let’s stop trying to fit them into a box and just have some fun!
Some days I feel like my phone is the boss of me. My phone seems to decide on how my day will go. It’s not just texts anymore. It’s the Facebook messages up the wazoo. The Snaps. (gotta keep up with the streaks). The Instagram DMs. The constant emails from 2 different schools with newsletters, kindy, requests for parent help, bills, meetings, reading eggs, IXL, scams and “you’ve won the lottery!” emails, appointments and everything in between. The worst part? We’ve somehow been tricked into believing we owe the world a rapid response to all of it.
I’ll be honest, I’m tired. Not just physically tired (although that’s most definitely the truth!), but mentally worn down from the pressure of being always available. We live in a world of constant connection, where it’s expected you’ll reply instantly, to everyone, all the time. It’s exhausting.
Sometimes replying to one message can take me over an hour. First, I need the head space to think about what I want to say. Meanwhile, I’m standing there, phone in hand, brain feeling like it just imploded, while chaos unfolds around me: kids yelling, one asking questions, two fighting, another spilling something, and yet another doing something dangerous that needs my immediate attention.
And so I leave you on seen. Not because I don’t care, but because right now, I can’t. I’m already at full capacity dealing with what’s right in front of me. Even a simple “How are you?” can feel overwhelming. Another thing I have to think about? My brain screams ahhhh! Then guilt kicks in, because, it’s so lovely that you care.
I try to reply… but the kids see I’m doing something and immediately swarm me. The message gets forgotten. This cycle repeats until I have 15 unread messages, and I’m sitting in the corner wondering what I did to deserve this avalanche of communication. Then the phone rings. Cue the tears. The sheer amount of appointments that come with 8 kids and just being a barely functioning adult that needs help but can’t answer a phone without freaking out, is beyond ridiculous.
That’s when I shut it off and wish that I didn’t have a phone… Until I want to ask my friend chatgpt a very important question, like “Why does my cat make that weird face when smelling my sock?”
But here’s the truth: I’m not mad. I’m not ignoring you. I’m just human. Being reachable 24/7 is exhausting. I can’t think of a single healthy relationship in my life that depends on how quickly I can tap a blue bubble on a screen. And yet, here we are feeling like our friendships, jobs, and family connections might crumble if we let a message sit unread for more than 30 minutes.
Sometimes I put my phone on silent and leave it in another room. Sometimes I don’t check my messages until the kids are in bed. (Which is never if I wait for Travis to ever sleep!) And yes, sometimes I read a message and reply two days (or two months) later, and guess what? The world keeps spinning.
I’ve realised I’m more present when I’m not glued to a device. I actually hear my kids’ stories. I notice my coffee is still warm. I even remember what I walked into the kitchen for….jokes, I actually will do that regardless.
If you’re feeling the same pressure, here’s your permission slip: You do not have to be instantly available. You can take your time. You can breathe. You can remember that your life is more than a bunch of likes or the amount of streaks you have.
And if I take a while to reply to your message? Just know, I probably needed a moment to live my real life before logging back into the digital one. I still love you ❤
There’s nothing quite like the satisfaction of waking a baby up in the morning that has kept you awake all night.
Hair all tangled, coffee calling, not sure if you’re in the realm of awake, asleep, the upside down, or the matrix. You look over, and there they are. Fast asleep. Peaceful. Like a beautiful little angel sent from the heavens. The same little angel who has some sort of internal alarm clock to wake every second hour on the dot. All. Night. Long.
You stare for a minute torn between wanting to scoop them up for cuddles, and making loud noises to remind them that night is for sleeping, or letting them sleep peacefully. But of course, one sleepy stretch, a little sigh, and your heart melts. I swear, God made them this cute so we’d survive these “little quirks” without losing our minds completely.
So you smile, you whisper “good morning,” and you carry on, because tonight? Well… we both know how that’s going to go.
Our house somehow manages to produce shoes the way rabbits produce baby rabbits. Two pairs for each person might sound reasonable… until you realize that still adds up to 15–20 pairs cluttering the floor like some kind of footwear apocalypse.
So when our old bed finally kicked the bucket, I had a lightbulb moment and made some plant holders, a small couch, and a shoe rack out of it. I was quite proud of my creations! Easy to put away and easy to grab! It even has a bit on the end. I couldn’t be bothered to saw off, which serves as a bag holder. After admiring my masterpiece, putting it up on the wall and feeling rather proud of myself…reality hit. You see, I forgot one tiny detail: This amazing creation only works if the people in the house actually use it. Which, of course, they don’t.
So here’s the hard truth I learned: no matter how brilliant, creative, or Instagrammable your storage solution is… it’s useless if your household refuses to play along. Sorry to burst your bubble if you’re looking for a shoe storage solution, but at least my shoes look cute when I put them on the rack.
So you know when you have excessive amounts of bottle caps stored up from your past life drinking days? …no? Just us? Ok 🙃
Well we had a couple….of hundred….
What else would we do when sober, crafty and trying to de-clutter but the bin is overflowing? Make art! So we decided to make something out of them to acknowledge our bad habits and remind ourselves of our better lifestyle.
For the record we are sober 497 days now, and not because we are raging alcoholics, but because we decided to make better lifestyle choices for our health, kids and relationship.
Here’s a sneak peek of the not quite-finished masterpiece. It’s not Pinterest worthy, but I like it, and every time we look at it we can be reminded of how far we have come. How we are no longer stuck in the land of hangovers, feeling sick, wasting money and being poor role models.
It’s a classic yin yang symbol which has meant a lot to me over the years. Its represents the balance of opposites and the way they connect with each other. They compliment each other, such as night and day, man and woman, changing seasons. Without one there isn’t the other, it just wouldn’t work. Which describes me and my best friend. We are basically complete opposites but also somehow complete each other, we except each other how we are, we grow and change but we are always part of each others lives.
As for the bottle caps, what else would we do when sober, crafty and trying to de-clutter but the bin is overflowing? Make art! These creations will be here to remind us of making better decisions, and basically taking hard or negative times and turning them into something beautiful and positive. It’s more effective than therapy (or so it seems in my case lately!)
So if you, too, have a suspiciously large collection of bottle caps (or something else from your “former self” era), let me know in the comments if you made something cool out of them! I’m always searching for recycled crafts! And if you haven’t, maybe you’ll feel inspired to either make some positive artwork, or drink more and stock up on bottle caps (I kid, please don’t do that).
Wow, aren’t we lucky to be seeing this amazing view? We need to focus more on the good things! Times are hard and stressful these days, so we have to make extra effort to remind ourselves… in the everyday chaos of life, school runs, to-do lists, endless notifications, financial stress, work, and appointments, it’s so easy to overlook the simple beauty around us. We get swept up in the “what’s next” and forget to be in the “right now.”
That’s why taking a moment to slow down and appreciate the small things is so important for our mental health. These tiny pauses ground us. They reconnect us with the present, allow us to breathe, give our ever racing thoughts a break, and remind us that beauty can be in the simplest form.
Just yesterday, my 3-year-old reminded me of this in the most beautiful way. We were walking through town when she asked if she could stop and smell the flowers. She didn’t just take one quick sniff and move on. She bent down to each flower, closed her eyes, and really took it in. One at a time. I watched her as she delighted in the different scents, totally unhurried and fully absorbed in the moment. It was such a small thing, but it made me smile and really filled my heart up.
It made me realise: I need to be more like my 3-year-old. She’s not rushing through life. She’s not too busy to notice the flowers. And maybe that’s the secret we’ve forgotten. That joy doesn’t always come from the big milestones. Sometimes, it’s in the breeze, a giggle, a patch of sunshine on your skin, or the scent of a flower on the side of the footpath.
So here’s your little reminder (and mine too): pause. Breathe. Look around. Let yourself be moved by something small today. Because those tiny moments? They’re what make the big picture so beautiful.
Said 3 year-old, taking her 2 babies for a walk in town
Okay, full disclosure, I’ve basically had a season pass to therapy for most of my life. Last year, I got a shiny new diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) and PTSD, with some bonus features like anxiety, panic attacks, social anxiety, and body dysmorphia. Basically, if mental health issues were Pokémon, I’ve collected quite a few. But with all that, I’ve also gathered a good little toolkit to help me through. So grab a coffee and let’s chat. Maybe you’ll find something here that helps you too.
1. Exercise… But Make It Fun
I never feel like exercising. I don’t even want to walk to the mailbox most days. So instead of torturing myself with the gym or a boring walk when I’ve got ten thousand more interesting things I’d rather be doing (like literally anything else), I get creative.
I double up! My “workouts” look like taking the kids swimming and racing them across the pool, hiding painted rocks in the Redwoods, picking up rubbish on our street, or playing tag at the playground. Movement doesn’t have to be a chore and if I can trick my brain into thinking it’s fun, that’s a win.
2. Hobbies ….Remember Those?
Once upon a time, I loved reading. I’d check out the maximum number of books from the library and disappear into my room for a week. I also used to crochet like a pro… until babies and kittens came along and turned every ball of yarn into a tangled mess of chaos. 🤦♀️
I also have a passion for the piano. I could play for hours and just lose myself in the music. Writing songs, stories, letters was another love of mine. I love words. It’s funny because I often struggle to talk to people face-to-face, but give me a minute and a pen and I could write forever.
Also swimming. I’ve always loved it, so now I take the kids to the pool as much as I can. Two birds, one chlorinated stone.
3. Human Connection… Even When You Don’t Feel Like It
When you don’t want to “human” that’s exactly when you need to. I know, I know, the urge to hide under a blanket and ignore the world is real. But connection is key. Go for a coffee, take a drive, chat with a friend, even just text someone. We need each other. Humans weren’t built to go solo.
I love what mental health speaker Julia Grace says: “Get yourself a “jelly buddy.” Someone who’ll hold you accountable, even when you feel wobbly. Set up regular catch-ups and stick to them. You’ll thank yourself later.
There have been months worth of unanswered messages on my phone. I’m grateful for understanding and patient people!
4. Look Good, Feel Better
There’s power in simply brushing your hair. I know how hard that can be, I’ve had weeks where I didn’t. Depression is like quicksand, and even the tiniest acts of self-care feel impossible. But each little thing matters. Put on some clean clothes. Wash your face. It’s not about vanity – it’s about hope.
5. Gratitude…. The Underrated Superpower
One of my favourite things we do as a family is going around the dinner table and asking, “What are you grateful for today?” It doesn’t have to be big. It could be something as simple as “I drank a coffee while it was still hot.”
There’s a free app called Happyfeed where you can log something positive every day. My first entry? “I did the washing.” Yep. Because some days, just existing is an achievement.
Our brains are wired to scan for danger, it’s a survival thing, but that also means we tend to forget the good stuff. That’s why we have to make a habit of noticing it.
6. Medication
You wouldn’t stop taking insulin for diabetes or skip antibiotics for an infection. So don’t skip the things that help your brain either. Mental health maintenance is just as essential even if it’s invisible. If you need the medication then take the medication! There is no shame and you are not weak!
7. Faith…. Whatever That Looks Like For You
This one is personal. After my divorce, my mental health hit rock bottom. There was a protection order, a messy court battle, the end of homeschooling, and a deep betrayal from the Christian community I had once trusted. I lost my faith, and when I say that, I don’t mean casually. It felt like losing a family member, a purpose, a part of who I was.
Things got dark. Real dark. Financial abuse, sleeping on a couch, going without meals so the kids could eat, watching my ex roll around in luxury while claiming poverty. I left everything behind — house, business, furniture, just to keep the peace. And still, somehow, I was painted as the villain.
But then, in 2020, I met someone wonderful. We were both fresh out of unhappy marriages and living a bit chaotically, to be honest. But in the middle of our mess, we found groups called Legacy and ManUp and it changed everything. It was through Destiny Church, and I was skeptical at first (okay, VERY skeptical), but the women there were so kind and so real that I just kept going back. They didn’t care where I stood with God, they just welcomed me.
Eventually, my partner said, “Let’s go to church.” I thought he’d lost the plot. But I went. And I was shocked. They were the nicest, most accepting, genuinely loving people I’d ever met. Week by week, something shifted. The hole inside me began to fill. That lost faith I thought was gone forever? It came back. And this time, stronger. As did our relationship! We had gone through so much stress in such a short amount of time and while it would have broken most relationships (and it nearly did) ours became stronger than ever after we joined the church.
So yes, I still have my diagnoses, and my good days and bad days. But now I also have community, purpose, and peace.
Faith may not look the same for you, and that’s totally okay. But find something that gives your life meaning. Something that makes you want to get out of bed in the morning. Because that’s where healing begins.
If you’re still reading this, thank you. Please know that you’re not alone, and nothing about you is broken beyond repair. Keep filling your toolkit, one tiny tool at a time. 💛
Let’s keep talking about mental health, no more hiding in the dark. I’m 40 now, and just starting to see the light.
Honestly, all I want to do is watch Happy Gilmore 2. I’ve hit play five times now and I still haven’t made it past the halfway mark. At this point, I know the opening scenes better than I know my own phone number. I just can’t stop falling asleep! If you have children, you can probably relate!
Gone are the days when we’d stay up until 2 a.m., drinking rum, or beer, or whiskey…maybe a bit of tequila. Eating snacks we didn’t have to share, and laughing at absolutely nothing. Now? Now we’re up to our eyeballs in school notices, washing tiny pieces of clothing, and bedtime routines that feel longer than Lord of the Rings (Also never made it through that movie).
We’ve gone from wild nights to wild dreams, literally. Because we’re asleep. Before the kids even stop talking in their sleep, even before Violet sleep walks into our room.
Happy Gilmore’s “happy place” scene. Now it’s not palm trees and bikinis with jugs of beer – it’s low cholesterol, a good mattress, and pants that actually fit. Medium-sized pants, at that! That’s the dream right there.
Life in your 40’s hits different. And quite honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing. Except maybe… just one uninterrupted movie night. Just one. Though we did go to the movies to watch the beloved paw patrol movie….where Simon had a great nap!
The other day I was watching Gabby’s dollhouse and no one was even in the room with me. Has my brain gone to mush? Yes, yes it has. The never ending baby brain. I just want you all to know that I did use to be cool… At least my mum thought so!
The Great Eight 