The Great Eight

I’m not ignoring you, I’m just overwhelmed.

Some days I feel like my phone is the boss of me. My phone seems to decide on how my day will go.
It’s not just texts anymore. It’s the Facebook messages up the wazoo. The Snaps. (gotta keep up with the streaks). The Instagram DMs. The constant emails from 2 different schools with newsletters, kindy, requests for parent help, bills, meetings, reading eggs, IXL, scams and “you’ve won the lottery!” emails, appointments and everything in between. The worst part? We’ve somehow been tricked into believing we owe the world a rapid response to all of it.

I’ll be honest, I’m tired. Not just physically tired (although that’s most definitely the truth!), but mentally worn down from the pressure of being always available. We live in a world of constant connection, where it’s expected you’ll reply instantly, to everyone, all the time. It’s exhausting.

Sometimes replying to one message can take me over an hour. First, I need the head space to think about what I want to say. Meanwhile, I’m standing there, phone in hand, brain feeling like it just imploded, while chaos unfolds around me: kids yelling, one asking questions, two fighting, another spilling something, and yet another doing something dangerous that needs my immediate attention.

And so I leave you on seen. Not because I don’t care, but because right now, I can’t. I’m already at full capacity dealing with what’s right in front of me. Even a simple “How are you?” can feel overwhelming. Another thing I have to think about? My brain screams ahhhh! Then guilt kicks in, because, it’s so lovely that you care.

I try to reply… but the kids see I’m doing something and immediately swarm me. The message gets forgotten. This cycle repeats until I have 15 unread messages, and I’m sitting in the corner wondering what I did to deserve this avalanche of communication. Then the phone rings. Cue the tears. The sheer amount of appointments that come with 8 kids and just being a barely functioning adult that needs help but can’t answer a phone without freaking out, is beyond ridiculous.

That’s when I shut it off and wish that I didn’t have a phone… Until I want to ask my friend chatgpt a very important question, like “Why does my cat make that weird face when smelling my sock?”

But here’s the truth: I’m not mad. I’m not ignoring you. I’m just human. Being reachable 24/7 is exhausting. I can’t think of a single healthy relationship in my life that depends on how quickly I can tap a blue bubble on a screen. And yet, here we are feeling like our friendships, jobs, and family connections might crumble if we let a message sit unread for more than 30 minutes.

Sometimes I put my phone on silent and leave it in another room. Sometimes I don’t check my messages until the kids are in bed. (Which is never if I wait for Travis to ever sleep!) And yes, sometimes I read a message and reply two days (or two months) later, and guess what? The world keeps spinning.

I’ve realised I’m more present when I’m not glued to a device. I actually hear my kids’ stories. I notice my coffee is still warm. I even remember what I walked into the kitchen for….jokes, I actually will do that regardless.

If you’re feeling the same pressure, here’s your permission slip: You do not have to be instantly available. You can take your time. You can breathe. You can remember that your life is more than a bunch of likes or the amount of streaks you have.

And if I take a while to reply to your message? Just know, I probably needed a moment to live my real life before logging back into the digital one. I still love you ❤