Okay, full disclosure, I’ve basically had a season pass to therapy for most of my life. Last year, I got a shiny new diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) and PTSD, with some bonus features like anxiety, panic attacks, social anxiety, and body dysmorphia. Basically, if mental health issues were Pokémon, I’ve collected quite a few. But with all that, I’ve also gathered a good little toolkit to help me through. So grab a coffee and let’s chat. Maybe you’ll find something here that helps you too.
1. Exercise… But Make It Fun
I never feel like exercising. I don’t even want to walk to the mailbox most days. So instead of torturing myself with the gym or a boring walk when I’ve got ten thousand more interesting things I’d rather be doing (like literally anything else), I get creative.
I double up! My “workouts” look like taking the kids swimming and racing them across the pool, hiding painted rocks in the Redwoods, picking up rubbish on our street, or playing tag at the playground. Movement doesn’t have to be a chore and if I can trick my brain into thinking it’s fun, that’s a win.
2. Hobbies ….Remember Those?
Once upon a time, I loved reading. I’d check out the maximum number of books from the library and disappear into my room for a week. I also used to crochet like a pro… until babies and kittens came along and turned every ball of yarn into a tangled mess of chaos. 🤦♀️
I also have a passion for the piano. I could play for hours and just lose myself in the music. Writing songs, stories, letters was another love of mine. I love words. It’s funny because I often struggle to talk to people face-to-face, but give me a minute and a pen and I could write forever.
Also swimming. I’ve always loved it, so now I take the kids to the pool as much as I can. Two birds, one chlorinated stone.
3. Human Connection… Even When You Don’t Feel Like It
When you don’t want to “human” that’s exactly when you need to. I know, I know, the urge to hide under a blanket and ignore the world is real. But connection is key. Go for a coffee, take a drive, chat with a friend, even just text someone. We need each other. Humans weren’t built to go solo.
I love what mental health speaker Julia Grace says: “Get yourself a “jelly buddy.” Someone who’ll hold you accountable, even when you feel wobbly. Set up regular catch-ups and stick to them. You’ll thank yourself later.
There have been months worth of unanswered messages on my phone. I’m grateful for understanding and patient people!
4. Look Good, Feel Better
There’s power in simply brushing your hair. I know how hard that can be, I’ve had weeks where I didn’t. Depression is like quicksand, and even the tiniest acts of self-care feel impossible. But each little thing matters. Put on some clean clothes. Wash your face. It’s not about vanity – it’s about hope.
5. Gratitude…. The Underrated Superpower
One of my favourite things we do as a family is going around the dinner table and asking, “What are you grateful for today?” It doesn’t have to be big. It could be something as simple as “I drank a coffee while it was still hot.”
There’s a free app called Happyfeed where you can log something positive every day. My first entry? “I did the washing.” Yep. Because some days, just existing is an achievement.
Our brains are wired to scan for danger, it’s a survival thing, but that also means we tend to forget the good stuff. That’s why we have to make a habit of noticing it.
6. Medication
You wouldn’t stop taking insulin for diabetes or skip antibiotics for an infection. So don’t skip the things that help your brain either. Mental health maintenance is just as essential even if it’s invisible. If you need the medication then take the medication! There is no shame and you are not weak!
7. Faith…. Whatever That Looks Like For You
This one is personal. After my divorce, my mental health hit rock bottom. There was a protection order, a messy court battle, the end of homeschooling, and a deep betrayal from the Christian community I had once trusted. I lost my faith, and when I say that, I don’t mean casually. It felt like losing a family member, a purpose, a part of who I was.
Things got dark. Real dark. Financial abuse, sleeping on a couch, going without meals so the kids could eat, watching my ex roll around in luxury while claiming poverty. I left everything behind — house, business, furniture, just to keep the peace. And still, somehow, I was painted as the villain.
But then, in 2020, I met someone wonderful. We were both fresh out of unhappy marriages and living a bit chaotically, to be honest. But in the middle of our mess, we found groups called Legacy and ManUp and it changed everything. It was through Destiny Church, and I was skeptical at first (okay, VERY skeptical), but the women there were so kind and so real that I just kept going back. They didn’t care where I stood with God, they just welcomed me.
Eventually, my partner said, “Let’s go to church.” I thought he’d lost the plot. But I went. And I was shocked. They were the nicest, most accepting, genuinely loving people I’d ever met. Week by week, something shifted. The hole inside me began to fill. That lost faith I thought was gone forever? It came back. And this time, stronger. As did our relationship! We had gone through so much stress in such a short amount of time and while it would have broken most relationships (and it nearly did) ours became stronger than ever after we joined the church.
So yes, I still have my diagnoses, and my good days and bad days. But now I also have community, purpose, and peace.
Faith may not look the same for you, and that’s totally okay. But find something that gives your life meaning. Something that makes you want to get out of bed in the morning. Because that’s where healing begins.
If you’re still reading this, thank you. Please know that you’re not alone, and nothing about you is broken beyond repair. Keep filling your toolkit, one tiny tool at a time. 💛
Let’s keep talking about mental health, no more hiding in the dark. I’m 40 now, and just starting to see the light.
The Great Eight 
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